Miss Burlesque SA 2019 | Heated Highlights
by Luna Eclipse
It was a cold and rainy night when 200 people packed their way into the Goodwood Institute for the highlight of South Australia’s burlesque calendar: the Miss Burlesque Australia State Finals. Produced for a second year by the hot sauce blonde bombshell herself – Lyra LaBelle. Glasses were clinking as fans old and new alike packed out the bar and were tittering with anticipation. It was well known just how hard all the finalists had worked in the lead up to the night, so we were all excited to see what they were going to bring to the stage.
The performers took to the stage one by one to compete in the Red Carpet Parade, Traditional section and Unique section, while the delightfully charming Boo Dwyer (dressed in a rather exquisite black wiggle dress adorned with red roses) kept the night rolling along with plenty of witty banter.
Ambrosious Lee dazzled in red in the traditional section whilst wearing her heart on her, well, let’s just say “sleeve”. In the unique section she embodied, I would argue, one of the most used emojis in the burly community: the peach. Poor James didn’t know what hit him, especially when those assles were revealed!
Die Lyla Dash brought her signature to-the-gods beehive and punk rock attitude across all her appearances which included a leather look western style gown for the carpet parade, and a hoochy coochy style bump and grind fest for the traditional. Her unique performance left me feeling as though I had just awoken from a strange dream full of fire twirling, bears and broken glass set to the tunes of David Bowie. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a burlesque act like it.
If I had to use one word to describe Desert Rose it would be saucy! Accompanied by a live guitarist she treated us to a devilish song and striptease in the traditional section, and her unique was a lust-filled booze-fuelled romp that declared she was never going to let a man hold her back. I think I held my breath through the entire act – she truly knows how to command the stage.
Letitica Stitch showed us some beautiful fan work as she strutted about the stage in a stunning peacock costume to a vintage 1930s tune. She switched gears for her unique in a heavy metal explosion, taking to the stage as a witch about to be burned at the stake, only to turn the tables on her oppressors and fuel her rage from the flames. Her passion passed through the audience and received a standing ovation.
In her signature page boy hair do (which always looks perfect!) Connie Curveball was a vision in purple in her traditional number, which was a classic strut and strip with some of the sauciest floor work I’ve seen. Then, in a scintillating ode to the wicked witch of the west, she kept us all spellbound in her unique routine.
Our final competitor for the evening was Moisty Magic, who kicked off her entrance in a vivid green and pink gown which would have left nothing to the imagination, if not for some strategically placed roses. Clad in a shocking pink gown and her vivid orange locks Moisty served up a mix of innocent and downright filthy in her traditional routine, which was set to the tune “my girl’s pussy”. Her unique routine had the audience enraptured as she lay herself before us as Mother Earth, ravaged by pollution and the greed of humans. It was truly tragic and beautiful at the same time, leaving me misty eyed at the end.
Once the finalists had finished their routines it was up to the judges to make their final decisions. It is always an honour to judge the competition but it’s not a role I take lightly, nor do any of the others on the panel. We were all blown away by the work put in by each performer and gave a lot of thought to each score given out. As I waited backstage with the competitors we all tried to distract ourselves and keep entertained: the waiting is always the worst part!
Finally, the scores were tallied and the winners were announced: Letitia Stitch: second runner-up, Die Lyla Dash: Miss Burlesque Adelaide, and Moisty Magic was crowned Miss Burlesque South Australia. I could not be more proud to pass on the crown to Moisty. She is such an insightful and intelligent performer and I know she will do so many wonderful things with the title. I truly feel so proud of all of the performers – they represent the next generation of talent here in South Australia and I know they all have great things ahead of them.
We look forward to seeing Miss Burlesque South Australia 2019, Moisty Magic compete at the Grand Final in Perth!